If social awkwardness were a disease, I would have been diagnosed years ago. And socially, this is a critical time of the school year. Whether you're a freshman getting settled in a dorm or a senior living off campus, September is when you come face to face with the most new people, from classmates and professors to friends of friends. So naturally, this is a time when complete social ineptitude (more politely known as introversion) becomes crippling. This time of year, there are strangers everywhere. It's like an entire parade of unfamiliar faces, most of which are smiling impossibly cheerfully, still caught in the energizing freshness of a brand new school year. Maybe you're one of those smiling faces, completely psyched to be mingling, meeting and greeting. Or maybe you're like me, frozen somewhere between the desire to kindle new friendships and the need to hide yourself in the nearest bomb shelter to avoid having to put yourself out there and risk looking like the world's biggest idiot. According to the Myers & Briggs Foundation, famous for its personality test, introverts make up just less than half of the population. So it's easy to feel like a freak of nature while seemingly everyone is convincing you that parties and embarrassing ice breakers will be fun when just the thought makes you want to drown in a pool of your own nervous tears. But there are ways to survive. I know this because I'm not dead yet. First, you need to understand yourself. Merriam-Webster defines introversion as "the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one's own mental life," which means that there's a whole lot of thinking, analyzing and second guessing going on up in the cranial area. That could be why you find yourself afraid to speak without first planning out what you're going to say. That could also be why certain social situations make you want to get swallowed into a black hole. Sometimes, you just need space to breathe, be alone and iron out your problems. And most importantly, don't feel badly about needing to take this time. It's actually pretty normal. Then, you have to put these needs into action. Go for a drive. Go for a walk. Take a nap. I've found that sleep is a beautiful sedative. After waking from a successful nap, I'm too mellow to obsessively dissect my entire social life. But keep in mind that not every situation that appears terrifying on the outside will actually live up to your fears. I've discovered that on some nights when I'm feeling the most antisocial, the bravest and best thing I can do is to say "yes." It's led to some truly fantastic, indescribably hilarious times. Extroverts: I know it must be tiresome. You want to have fun in big groups, finagle some hook-ups and then wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy. And we introverts are wet blankets, sticks in the mud and whatever other term for "lame-o" you can think of. But forcing us to do things is never going to improve matters. Taking us to a party or event where there are a ton of strangers and a high probability of being separated from friends is equivalent to dropping us off in hell and being like, "I'll pick you up in an hour." OK, thanks. What's needed here is a little bit of give and take. Introverts: Take some chances by agreeing to step out of your comfort zone; your extroverted friends really are trying to help. Extroverts: Understand that your shy friends can only take so much before needing to recharge. As Vanilla Ice would say, "stop, collaborate and listen" to each other. Meeting somewhere in the middle is the best way to avoid getting annoyed with friends for things mostly out of their control. So it's a new year. Get out there and meet people, but take a breather when you start to daydream fondly about that bomb shelter. Learn to balance what you want with what you need. And have the courage to forgive yourself for saying stupid things. Because social awkwardness isn't a disease - it's a lifestyle. Embrace it.
