Leah:
People like telling me that I’m left-handed.
“I didn’t know you were left-handed,” they say, like it’s this really interesting fact I’d forgotten to tell them, on par with fighting whale hunters off the coast of New Zealand or something.
No one bothers to tell me that I’m brunette or short or in possession of some stupidly thick eyebrows, so I know people realize that I’m aware of basic physical facts about myself. So why is it that when I’m seen gripping a writing utensil, those around me feel the need to point out which hand I write with?
Other left-handed people I know have reported similar experiences. Not right-handed people, though. And it’s baffling.
I’d rather not have the world treat me like some oddity, but National Geographic claims that just 10 percent of the world’s population is left-handed. So if I’m going to be called out on it, couldn’t the world do a bit better to accommodate me?
Pens at the bank are impossible. Elevator buttons are on the right and computer mice are on the right and I can’t even count the number of times I’ve smeared ink across a page. Why do I have to buy a left-handed baseball glove when right-handed people can buy just a plain glove?
No, I will not sit at the left-handed desk, thank you very much. “Normal” desks are no hassle at all, and I’m not going to move just because you don’t want to walk around to the other side of the aisle. I don’t want to, either. Deal with it.
Alyssa:
You are spacing out in class and realize something is terribly wrong. The person sitting next to you is writing with her left hand.
You feel like you’ve been thrown in an “Inception”-style situation and you wait for your constructs to attack them, but they don’t, because it’s not a dream.
Left-handed people are anomalies. They have left-handed stores that sell left-handed things like notebooks, calendars and pens. I hate to tell you this, left-handed people: All the special left-handed pens and paper in the world aren’t going to help you in a left-to-right writing society.
Leah has helped me develop my theory about left handed people: They complain about the dumbest things.
A great example was her complaint about the pens in banks, especially the ones attached to the chains. Apparently, they are hellish for lefties, because they aren’t long enough. Don’t know what bank in the 1960s you are going to, but my bank has you sign everything electronically at a keypad to the left of you. We help you out and you still complain.
Obama is a lefty. Why isn’t that in the information box when politicians are on TV? President Obama — democrat — left-handed. If people solely vote based on their religious beliefs, it’s fair for me to keep lefties out of the presidency. You see what happened with Hitler. He’s a lefty too.
I have too many lefties in my life to truly be bothered. But, if you’re ambidextrous, you can get out.
We need more productive political discussions
